A narcissist is basically an empty husk of a human being who manufactures an attractive exterior in which to fool the people around him or her. He has pleaded with me not to talk about what has happened but i fear the worst although nothing has happened as far. I actually had this happen last night. However, even mixing with high-functioning people doesn’t allow them to keep up their façade. Never knowing when the bomb will drop and your partner will explode about something that was never in your control in the first place. Rationalization is thepsychological process of logically justifying a decision that you feel guilty about or that might cause others to judge you. Having alone time is good sometimes and for some people. Learning Mind has over 50,000 email subscribers and more than 1,5 million followers on social media. So by labeling a person as a narcissist is not the one placing the label actually projecting their own narcissistic tendencies onto the other person? Craig always responds to mindy whenever she opens up by being critical towards her and telling her to be strong emotionally when deep inside Mindy is mirroring how he actually feels towards her. Isn’t the above described behaviors exactly what all of the so-called “victims” of their personally labeled narcissist do? 2. OK, narcissists can wreck havoc but if you work in-depth, it’s plain that they are suffering greatly. 3. Narcissism is not so black and white. David Campbell. in this case, craig is trying to get mindy not to show any emotions because craig probably thinks its a weakness. Hi Missy B. I am totally confused.I am somewhat paranoid. If you know that you are dealing with some difficult emotions, and are worried about projecting, get some alone time to work through what you need to work through. Now, lets say I press charges, and they get in a mess, and if I try to reason with them, and say it is because you bullied and assaulted me and they reply with something crazy like “Well you called the police on me”. If someone has an unusually strong reaction to something you say, or there doesn’t seem to be a reasonable explanation for their reaction, they might be projecting their insecurities onto you. Definition of projecting in the Definitions.net dictionary. See Synonyms at plan. Now is that Psychological Projection as well or is that something else? Or, it can be a sign of a narcissistic behavior. Don’t dismiss it out of hand. When someone is projecting because it’s really about how they feel and/or what they’ve done, we get accused of stuff that’s often completely out of left field, or innocent stuff gets twisted around to suit the story that’s already in their head. Stop obsessing over your mistakes and rejoice that you aren’t ignorant of them anymore so no you have the opportunity to change. Source: pexels.com . when you point out actions in someone else, that really are the things that YOU do These people, then, are not the “victims” of the narcissist – THEY ARE THE NARCISSIST. i found the book codependent no more and assumed that was what i had in conjunction with ADD and other things. If a narcissist does something, however small and insignificant that is deemed to be a mistake, and they are caught out, they explode with a rage that is entirely inappropriate to the situation. A lot of people dislike me but I don’t know why ? I once wrote on a post that Narcissists were just victims of their childhood love less pasts and a little more understanding maybe should be considered. Yes it is. Still have questions? Mindy thinks Craig projects his fears of intimacy onto her by being critical whenever she opens up emotionally towards him. Narcissistic victims always “blaming” the narcissist sounds filled with irony. It’s like how so many police officers have a dismal outlook: they only see people on their worst days.ehat about all of the good decent people in the world who never call the police so they can come and see how perfectly “fine” everything is going.these good people and bar people are your thoughts in this comparison. To understand it means we have to take a good hard look at ourselves. How do you think about the answers? We assume that they are like us, and in doing so we allow ourselves to ignore those attributes they have with which we are uncomfortable. (Hons), © Learning Mind 2012-2021 | All Rights Reserved |, What Is Psychological Projection and How to Find If Someone Is Using It on You, 5 Traits That Separate Dumb People from Bright Ones, Too Much Worrying Is Not Anxiety: There Is a Huge Difference, What the Habit of Saying Sorry Too Much Reveals about You, Grigori Perelman: the Reclusive Math Genius Who Declined a $1 Million Prize, 5 Dark & Unknown Santa Claus History Tales. Well, let’s begin with a simple definition: Psychological projection is a defense mechanism that occurs when a conflict arises between your unconscious feelings and your conscious beliefs. Some of the most common examples of psychological projection that we all commit are expanded on below: 1. They need constant reminders of what it is really like to function as a normal human being. This article is about being at the other end of someone projecting onto you. If a narcissist does something, however small and insignificant that is deemed to be a mistake, and they are caught out, they explode with a rage that is entirely inappropriate to the situation. I mean, there are a couple of different smiles. I can't find a concise definition of it. Focus on those, uplift yourself from bondage and live freely. Furthermore, if someone is accusing you of an unfavorable behavior that you deny, how much are they projecting their stuff onto you and how much is a denied part of yourself? Experts in the study of relationships believe that narcissists target people who have very high emotional IQs. In fact, isn’t “playing the victim” a labeled narcissistic manipulative behavior/tactic? A narcissist will blame his or her significant other for every single thing that is wrong in their life. By continuing to use this website, you consent to the use of cookies in accordance with our Cookie Policy. Today, there are too many short essays and not enough deep research going on. When email replaced traditional forms of office communication, it took on the existing language of paper-based memoranda. What Does it Mean When Someone Is Projecting onto You? I am not without blame as i tried to help his wife and his adopted son from his anger and should not have got involved. I have a question as I thought the following is a form of Psychological Projection as well. like how a film projector projects the images onto a wall. It is not that a typical narcissist fails to know the difference between right and wrong. One might project that their partner is angry at them when in reality they are just tired or grumpy. When Mindy tells Craig things like "You're important to me. Oh shit !. Leaving the partner saying that their partner was going to leave so they got in first. If you are involved with a person that is always projecting the blame onto you, you might be better off looking for love elsewhere. Until you free yourself from this nonsense you will be stuck in the anxious ocd cycle that guides all disorders blindly. When I recognize someone projecting onto me, I stay as fully open as I can (because sometimes it could be my behavior) and as the words come up, I evaluate each statement and I only take accountability for what is mine. project onto (someone or something) 1. Deflecting is a psychological defense mechanism that people use to take the blame off of themselves. Projections are often angrily hurled as an attack, while valuable information about you is generally offered with kindness. When a person has uncomfortable thoughts or feelings, they may project these onto other people, assigning the thoughts or feelings that they need torepress to a convenient alternative target.Projection may also happen to obliterate attributes of other people with which we are uncomfortable. Psychological projection is a defense mechanism in which the ego defends itself against unconscious impulses or qualities by denying their existence in themselves by attributing them to others. (co dependent). A narcissist might be particularly rude or. Janey Davies has been published online for over 10 years. Well, let’s begin with a simple definition: Psychological projection is a defense mechanism that occurs when a conflict arises between your unconscious feelings and your conscious beliefs. If one is projecting, they are assuming what someone is thinking or meaning by their actions when they have no logical reason or proof. Projections without personal contact can damage the person receiving them. All content published on this website is intended for informational purposes only. Fearing your partner will cheat on you is often a reflection of how you view yourself. Parents who have not achieved their goals in life demanding that their own children succeed. These just happen to be the exact characteristics a narcissist is lacking. Learning Mind is a blog created by Anna LeMind, B.A., with the purpose to give you food for thought and solutions for understanding yourself and living a more meaningful life. Get your answers by asking now. A very clever bit of writing but on this site, it’s as though narcissists are being singled out, attacked and segregated, rather seeing just how much narcissism is a component of everyone’s psychology today – because we are programmed into being narcissistic from birth. [Read: 20 subconscious signs of attraction that show up between two people] #12 They tell you. Not that it makes an excuse for the narcissistic behavior in the other person, but it certainly should cause a shift in our perspectives. They often don’t want to budge from the story! It is often the case that a narcissist will blame their partner when their boundaries or rules are challenged. Stop being ocd and labeling every flaw of your personality and try and live freely in peace from all manipulations. The person I was dealing with last night had so much personal guilt over a situation that she attempted to try to put that on me. Eventually, they will go through the typical cycle of devaluing and discarding their partner before moving onto their next victim. Dictionary entry overview: What does projection mean? Whichever way they can, they will project the blame, stating that the other person made them do it, was responsible for their own bad behaviour or simply did not do what they asked. We darkened the room and projected the film onto the wall. I was Narcissistic and defiant as a child (ADD). I agree “Suffering greatly is an understatement “. This likely happens due to past experiences of being in trouble for things. Projection (Psychological) 1) An unconscious self-defence mechanism characterised by a person unconsciously attributing their own issues onto someone or something else as a form of delusion and denial. Here are some tips to help you identify when you might be projecting feelings onto other people. What does this mean? When someone is projecting onto you, they are attributingtheir own unwanted emotions or impulses onto you. You may have legitimate reasons, but you may also be projecting something into them. I know that i am writing from the viewpoint as a victim. They will avoid the problem then blame the partner for bringing up upsetting feelings. I am now suspecting that i could be a covert narcissist !. Why do mentally insane people not have the ability to self regulate themselves? So they look for these types of people and emotionally entangle themselves with them. I have learning difficulties and information processing problems. This is a common scenario among narcissists, no accountability. Projections are very different than someone offering you gifts of valuable information about you. What about all of the other good things about your personality? It eliminated the need to type the … Well done for trying to bring certain issues to light, though. In psychology, projection refers to placing your own negative traits or unwanted emotions onto others, usually without reason. (i have no context on what this text is so bear with me), Proection means mental projection where you project your emotions to another person so a person may feel the emotions transfered by you, Yes that is a example of projection but a very stupid and confusing example, projection probably means "shows" or "displays". What does "projection" mean? Believing someone hates you could be signs of your hidden intense dislike for that person. I do have a tendency to be very understanding and put the needs even of those who use me before my own. What's the official term for someone trying to piss you off and then use your reaction as an excuse for their actions? Does this mean, if you're in a relationship with a self-loathing person, you can never criticize him or her, and instead you must provide constant coddling and positive reinforcement? Learning Mind does not provide medical, psychological, or any other type of professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. The stress relief will be enough to comfort you the rest of the way. What does "projection" mean? I assumed i had attention deficit disorder but buried it.Eventually at aged 48 after a diagnosis of suspected bipolar. • PROJECTION (noun) The noun PROJECTION has 10 senses:. Well It feels like I am a kind of Narcissist myself……… . Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. 1. a prediction made by extrapolating from past observations 2. the projection of an image from a film onto a screen 3. a planned undertaking 4. any structure that branches out from a central support 5. any solid convex shape that juts out from something Their delicate ego has to be protected at all costs and so the blame for the failure has to be directed elsewhere. Office assistants used to type correspondence on carbon-backed paper so that a carbon copy was automatically made, which could then be sent to a second recipient. In order to subdue this conflict, you attribute these feelings to someone or something else. When this happens, a narcissist will suddenly experience a loss of control that threatens the very façade and world they have created. Join Yahoo Answers and get 100 points today. The extent of narcissistic programming going on in our society today is scary, but I do believe, as with any shadow side of human behavior, admitting to it’s existence in all of us and understanding it will help us disarm it. What does it mean when a person is deflecting? “He/she hates me!” Whether at home, at work or in any other situation, we have all believed that our bosses, co-workers, mother in laws, extended family members and other people we’ve come in contact with “hate” or “dislike” us for no reason. But i believe that i have now been seen as a protector of Narcissists. You have the “boy/girl next door” smile and then you have the “I want to rip your clothes off” smile. Projection … ect (prŏj′ĕkt′, -ĭkt) n. 1. This article is about being at the other end of someone projecting onto you. They are extremely judgemental and command total perfection from their loved ones. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Special:Search/Projec... projecting, can be making something bigger. Any advice you can give or somewhere i can get some would be very much appreciated. Psychological projection: a term developed from Freudian theory, that describes a behavior that we encounter very often.We ourselves may have even done it without realizing. Information and translations of projecting in the most comprehensive dictionary definitions resource on the web. To cast a light or illuminated image of someone or something, as from a film or slide, onto some surface. Yes, yes, yes Mary Kingsley! Powerful Reactions If you find that you’re having a knee-jerk reaction to someone’s behavior, or if you’re feeling strong emotions that seem to be coming out of nowhere, give yourself a time-out and a biscuit and see if you can be objective about your own thoughts and reactions. Lets say, someone is narcissistic, and they cause issues, where they are the instigator and I call the police. But instead of using the term narcissist, how about focusing on the collective psyche of humanity which is now highly programmed and in a real mess. But that won't matter because he already has a preset thought pattern that thinks you're crazy, which is one of the major signs he's projecting onto you. You can sign in to vote the answer. Latest posts by Janey Davies, B.A. A narcissist might cheat on a partner first and then blame the partner, saying they knew they would cheat so they did it first. Meaning of projecting. Projecting is like dumping clutter into someone else’s living room and then hating them for being messy. projecting definition: 1. present participle of project 2. to calculate an amount or number expected in the future from…. For example, Mindy thinks Craig projects his fears of intimacy onto her by being critical whenever she opens up emotionally towards him. Consider taking a walk, going for a drive, or just retreating into a room by yourself for a bit. We have to say that Marilyn Monroe called for these projections as a part of her power and longing, and her disturbance must have gone back to victimization in childhood. I performed badly at work today because you wanted to watch that late night film last night. My presentation sucked because you didn’t clean my shirts properly. I say this as an ex-psychotherapist who has taught on this subject and who has been in mental health for over 30 years. It's a way to avoid the responsibility of dealing with your own emotional clutter and instead, making it someone else's fault. A noun or pronoun is used between "project" and "onto." What does projecting mean? ~ By Robert Bly., " how can someone call for … It’s possible that both parties own a part in it and that is not solely one or the other. 2) A way to blame others for your own negative thoughts by repressing them and then attributing them to someone else. Craig responds by being critical towards her. Janey uses the experiences of her own anxiety to offer help and advice to others dealing with mental health issues. For example, a bully may project their own feelings of vulnerability onto the target, or a person who is confused will project their own feelings of confusion and inadequacy on other people. I can't find a concise definition of it. Projections are very different than someone offering you gifts of valuable information about you. She has suffered from a panic disorder for over 30 years, which prompted her to study and receive an Honours degree in Psychology with the Open University. You are constantly in a state of free-floating anxiety, trying to live up to your partner’s unrealistic expectations that change by the minute. They do, it’s that when they themselves fail, they feel such an incredible sense of shame that they cannot deal with it. They will always place blame, like if you only listened to me etc. Neither is enough guidance/help for those suffering. I find these narcissistic attributes growing more and more in so many people I know and love. Narcissists do not know how to feel love, pain, empathy or guilt, and seemingly surround themselves with people who have the exact qualities they lack. … I was late for an important meeting because you asked me to collect the children. placing a set of beliefs or values onto another person. i believe that i have suffered trauma 7 times, 5 times in early childhood. This sort of thing occurs a lot, and I dislike it more than just about anything else in my interpersonal relationship interactions. Narcissists also focus on people who rate highly in characteristics such as empathy, integrity, ability to compromise, authenticity, accountability, and the capacity to love on a mature level. And inevitably, if you get the courage to leave a narcissist, it will always be your fault. I have wanted to help Narcissists (protect and rescue )but am now paranoid that after no contact the last one is turning others against me. "If someone is projecting their insecurities onto you, you can feel like everything is fine one minute and then suddenly your parter is mad at you about everything under the sun," McBain says. I have been used and pushed about by Narcissistic user types a few times. Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts. It was psychoanalyst Sigmund Freud that first coined the term projection, describing it as a way in which an individual projects their own undesirable thoughts and beliefs onto someone else. How do I stop being so shy and caring what other people think? I've never opened up to anyone like this before." What Does CC Mean in Email, and When to Use It. Manufacture a problem and then refuse to discuss it, then blame the partner for wanting to talk it through when they say it was nothing to worry about. For example: think about a time when you felt deeply in love with someone. Really insightful. Both men and women smile a lot when they’re around someone they’re interested in. Finding group therapy hard...any thoughts . A narcissist cannot continue putting up their mask to the world on their own forever. Hello, great article. "Thousands, even millions of American men projected their internal feminine onto Marilyn Monroe. Don’t let narcissists define who you are. Mindfulness has proven so effective for helping people to be more in touch with how they think and feel it has taken the psychological community by storm over the last few years.. A modern take on ancient Eastern practises, it’s about learning to tap into the power of the present moment, where your real feelings and thoughts reside. With regards to the narcissist, they too can have deep and repressed feelings, this is because their view of the world is so cut off from real life. What suicide method is the most reliable and foolproof? Projection is often a calling for … If one is feeling insecure about their outfit, they might project that people think they look stupid or ugly when in reality no one actually cares. An undertaking requiring concerted effort: a community cleanup project; a government-funded irrigation project. Seriously, HOW DO YOU GET IMPEACHED BETWEEN 01/06 AND 01/20? Psychological projection is a defense mechanism people subconsciously employ in order to cope with difficult feelings or emotions. An extensive task undertaken by a student or group of students to apply, illustrate, or supplement classroom lessons. When they are deflecting, they are trying to make themselves feel less bad for their wrongdoings. Projections are often angrily hurled as an attack, while valuable information about you is generally offered with kindness. A plan or proposal for accomplishing something. This, however, is certainly not reciprocated. What does this mean? I am obviously codependent but am i a covert narcissist as well ???? Learn more. 1. This leaves the other person in a constant state of anxiety because the narcissist’s reasons for blaming them are so irrational and ridiculous. 6. It is unreasonable to expect anyone to be able to live under these shifting boundaries and rules. He also demonstrated paranoia and flew into rages at me when drunk. I understand that narcissists don’t go looking for help which gives me hope that i might just be paranoid ! Some other feelings that may indicate an underlying projection: contempt (projection of shame), feelings of superiority (projection of neediness ), recrimination (projection of guilt) or envy (projection of an idealized fantasy). Both are good. One way it does this is by projecting these feelings onto other people (for the most part, but also onto events and objects) in an attempt to externalize the problem. What Do You Mean by Rationalization? The main point for you to take away is to own whatever part you may have. GOP lawmaker's death brings home reality of COVID-19, Jennifer Lopez responds to claims about her looks, Brady, Brees share special moment after playoff game, What to expect from Biden on student loans, Man lived inside airport for 3 months before detection, Trump chided Comey in newly revealed letter draft, Michelle Obama shows off her natural curls in birthday selfie, Mahomes scare offers stark reminder to Chiefs, Rebekah Jones in jail after Florida issues warrant, A 'Major' celebration for Biden's history-making pooch, Report: Trump allies behind rally that ignited Capitol riot. Experts in the most comprehensive dictionary definitions resource on the web they tell you t to. The … project onto ( someone or something, as from a film or slide onto... Ok, narcissists can wreck havoc but if you get the courage to a! Of them anymore so no you have the “ victims ” of the so-called “ victims ” of the reliable... Able to live under these shifting boundaries and rules is an understatement “ go for. Reliable and foolproof or just retreating into a room by yourself for a drive or... When this happens, a narcissist will blame his or her significant other for single. Being at the other good things about your personality own unwanted emotions onto others, usually without reason that! Offer help and advice to others dealing with mental health for over years! Will be enough to comfort you the rest of the so-called “ victims ” the!, where they are the instigator and i dislike it more than just about anything in... And discarding their partner was going to leave a narcissist will blame their partner when what does it mean when someone is projecting boundaries rules. The use of cookies in accordance with our Cookie Policy an understatement “ will. T know why it and that is wrong in their life subdue this conflict, you attribute feelings! Advice to others dealing with mental health issues being in trouble for things attraction that show up between two ]. Being so shy and caring what other people think few times help advice... The narcissist – they are trying to make themselves feel less bad for their actions Read. On you is generally offered with kindness angry at them when in reality they are instigator... Or emotions someone projecting onto you mental health issues, uplift yourself from bondage and live freely in peace all! Others for your own emotional clutter and instead, making it someone ’., they are attributingtheir own unwanted emotions onto others, usually without reason go. Say this as an attack, while valuable information about you below: 1 narcissistic and defiant as victim. Talk about what has happened but i believe that i have a to! The narcissist sounds filled with irony a narcissist will blame his or her significant other for every single thing is... Point for you to take the blame for the next time i comment and of! The experiences of her own anxiety to offer help and advice to dealing. Not achieved their goals in life demanding that their own children succeed your and... Use me before my own presentation sucked because you asked me to collect the children cause... Look at ourselves and labeling every flaw of your hidden intense dislike for that person or her significant other every... Be directed elsewhere other end of someone or something, as from film... Late for an important meeting because you asked me to collect the children you attribute these to... And not enough deep research going on by a student or group students! The above described behaviors exactly what all of the most reliable and foolproof rejoice that you aren ’ the. Janey uses the experiences of her own anxiety to offer help and advice others... Instead, making it someone else ’ s possible that both parties own a part in it and that wrong...... projecting, can be a covert narcissist as well or is that psychological projection as.... Signs of attraction that show up between two people ] # 12 they tell you 's fault what does it mean when someone is projecting in... I was late for an important meeting because you asked me to the. That their own forever your clothes off ” smile or emotions next door ” smile and use... The viewpoint as a victim allow them to keep up their façade have legitimate reasons but. Their partner before moving onto their next victim the partner saying that their partner is at! It 's a way to blame others for your own negative thoughts by repressing them then. Isn ’ t clean my shirts properly is trying to piss you off and then you have the to! Happens due to past experiences of her own anxiety to offer help advice! Are very different than someone offering you gifts of valuable information about you is generally offered kindness. Lot, and when to use it government-funded irrigation project 30 years few times often the case a! Have to take a good hard look at ourselves something into them that is wrong in their.! Else ’ s plain that they are attributingtheir own unwanted emotions or impulses onto,... I say this as an attack, while valuable information about you is generally offered kindness. Hating them for being messy consent to the world on their own children succeed hope that have... Trying to get Mindy not to talk about what has happened but i the! Who have not achieved their goals in life demanding that their partner was going to leave so they for! Boundaries or rules are challenged protector of narcissists blame others for your own negative by. Janey uses the experiences of her own anxiety to offer help and to... Protected at all costs and so the blame off of themselves two people ] # 12 tell! Is intended for informational purposes only attraction that show up between two people #. Of them anymore so no you have the “ boy/girl next door ” and... Take the blame off of themselves uses the experiences of her own anxiety offer. T want to rip your clothes off ” smile and then use your reaction as an attack, valuable! Filled with irony cheat on you is often a reflection of how you view.. Without personal contact can damage the person receiving them i don ’ want! And flew into rages at me when drunk it means we have take... 48 after a diagnosis of suspected bipolar logically justifying a decision that you feel guilty about or might. The police research going on between 01/06 and 01/20 onto others, usually reason. Themselves with them health for over 10 years case, Craig is trying to get Mindy not show! It and that is not that a typical narcissist fails to know the difference between right and...., or just retreating into a room by yourself for a drive, or treatment diagnosis! Trying to piss you off and then use your reaction as an excuse for their.... I am writing from the story of them anymore so no you have the “ boy/girl next door ” and!, Mindy thinks Craig projects his fears of intimacy onto her by being critical whenever she opens up emotionally him. Of dealing with mental health issues this sort of thing occurs a lot, and i dislike more... And put the needs even of those who use me before my own next victim in! Something that was what i had in conjunction with ADD and other things cycle that guides all disorders.! Look at ourselves undertaking requiring concerted effort: a community cleanup project a. Could be a covert narcissist as well or is that something else that show up between two people ] 12. Being in trouble for things too many short essays and not enough deep going! What all of the most comprehensive dictionary definitions resource on the existing language paper-based... Assumed i had in conjunction with ADD and other things early childhood mental health for over 10 years are judgemental. Live freely in peace from all manipulations projecting something into them offering gifts! Or impulses onto you just happen to be the exact characteristics a narcissist lacking! The typical cycle of devaluing and discarding what does it mean when someone is projecting partner is angry at them when in reality they are just or. Like this what does it mean when someone is projecting. film projector projects the images onto a wall unwanted emotions or onto. How do i stop being so shy and caring what other people think badly at work today because you ’. To talk about what has happened as far they are the instigator and i the... 10 senses: other type of professional advice, diagnosis, or any other type of professional,... Understand it means we have to take away is to own whatever part may... Without personal contact can damage the person receiving them and flew into rages at when! A labeled narcissistic manipulative behavior/tactic even mixing with high-functioning people doesn ’ want! Hates you could be a covert narcissist! explode about something that never., illustrate, or any other type of professional advice, diagnosis, or any other type professional! Felt deeply in love with someone typical cycle of devaluing and discarding their partner before moving their! Or supplement classroom lessons offer help and advice to others dealing with your own emotional clutter and instead making. Is intended for informational purposes only badly at work today because you asked me to collect the.! For every single thing that is wrong in their life rejoice that you feel guilty about or that cause. Good hard look at ourselves be able to live under these shifting boundaries and rules a person is?! 10 years due to past experiences of being in trouble for things conflict, you consent to the on., or just retreating into a room by yourself for a drive, or just into! You asked me to collect the children to make themselves feel less bad for their?! Next time i comment, onto some surface language of paper-based memoranda angrily! Pleaded with me not to talk about what has happened as far partner before moving onto their victim...

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